Accountants

My 3 years stint in consulting made me wonder that why I always end up having men as client side contacts. I used to envy friends who used to boast of going to business lunches with hot clients. While I always used to end up with obese and bearded beer-guzzling hard-laughing kinda fellas.

They do not enquire about my affair, arrange marriages, vegetarianism and other socio cultural aspects of Indian society. They never tickle my emotional quotient. Rather they talk about elephants, snakes, logic of naming long leg as a position in cricket, kamasutra and IT industry.

Then I discussed with Smita. After her 2 minute sympathy and 20 minute scolding, I got the divine enlightenment. Accounting! I interact with accountant and you hardly find women in accounting departments. Then my imagination ran wild. Somehow I could see all the accounting terms are/can be related to women. No wonder most accountants are Men. Tavajjo farmayen....


Discontinued non current assets (Ex girlfriend)
Short term debt (fling)
Other Long term debt (Mistress)
Total assets (Ahem...)
Total liability (Wink...)
misc. expenditure (self explainable)
adjustment ( you never care about me)
Goodwill account (Sending a flower)
Work in process (I am getting ready...........)
Accrued undefined benefits (No comments)
Misc Income ( A local train ride)
Warranty (faith)
Paid in capital (hehe)
Sunk cost (khilaya maine aur khaya kisi aur ne)
Intangible amortization (shaadi...lol)

And men always wonder if it is in black or red? (I am talking about balance sheets.. you perverts!!)

No wonder....

IT - Stand up comedy

Recently noted this line and couldn't resist to share....

What do information technology and standup comedy share in common? Just like a well defined project and a great punch line ….It's all in the Delivery

Segmentaion concepts

Just like consumers in marketing, one can segment IT janata as Innovators, Early adapters, Early Majority, Late Majority and laggards.

4 yrs ago, People smirked when a group of people signed on a paper and rushed to check out "Let us C" from library. Yes, In those days, for a major in systems you were supposed to clear a C test. Finance and marketing brains Tsch Tsch ed the nerdy losers who wanted to get into systems. Little did they know that these were the innovators.. An idea, whose time was coming, stocks getting ready for the Bull Run.

Then placement season came and with innovators, here comes the early adapters. They attended interview, and cleared. For some strange reasons, they are even more excited then the innovators about their future life in IT. Consider this conversation with an EA dame after the placement on the beach

EA: Hiiiiii!!!!! Beautiful day no?
I: <> uhh ya, very much. You didn't go into water?
EA: No I am not feeling well, just came as my roomie was coming. So when is your joining date
I: 17 May, urs.
EA:Letter is yet to come. I called up the HR lady, they are finalizing the plan. Hey, I want to learn Java from you.
I : I don't know Java
EA: Then what do you know
I: I was DBA
EA: So can you teach me database
I: I mean, uh... Yes, but it is difficult....to teach.....Oracle, which is one of the database just by book
EA: still, which book I should take for that?
I: Why you want to learn oracle.
EA: Then what should I learn. I want to learn something that is useful
I: I need one more beer. You want?
EA: No, Tell me no, what is most relevant and easy to learn in 2 months.
I: you don't need to learn any software; they will train you on some ERP I guess.
EA:I know ERP, I read a lot about it before interview. Do you have a cd of ERP?
I: No, I am going in water. wanna join?

Our early adapter was soon writing sql statements in posh training room in Hyderabad. Early majority were attending induction programs of various marketing companies across Indian cities. They were worried of their posting location and simultaneously mailing resumes to EAs. Innovators were copy pasting and changing fonts as pre sales consultants. They were the most Hep of the lot.

Six months later.........

IT industry had welcomed EMs. Late majority were more worried on IT savvyness of resumes then their quarterly targets. EM was tense as they were allotted into a maintenance project. EAs were filing visa papers and not sure if pre-sales is time well spent. Innovators had started reading blogs and chatting with friends

I : Why did you shift from marketing to IT?
EM: I always wanted to be in IT, but I first wanted to learn about industry and then join as a domain consultant. you know, you can not got in business from IT, but from business you can always come to IT. I decided this move long ago.
I : Hmmm... How much time you were in the industry?
EM : 4 months

One more...

I : So what are you doing these days?
EA: I am in pre-sales. Very busy maaaan.
I : ya, I can imagine. So are you already handling RFPs on your own?
EA: oh ya, I have 3 RFPs right now but there are all small one's you know.... 2 millions etc. reaally pained to do so much work for such tiny deals.
I : <<>>
EA: So, what are you upto?
I: uh.... I am in solution architecture. I am working on e-strategizing business performance by synergizing best of breed approach and enabling cost effective corporate governance model. I am trying to sell the idea to couple of our big accounts. Let see... <>
EA: <<>>

It has been long time since then. I am sure the same routine must be followed by younger batches. :)

And what our IT professional doing now? Most of them marrying, job hopping, buying homes, orkutting and making babies. Some are also writing blogs. Some are innovators and some are laggards in different aspects.

The story continues.......